“Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.”
– Mary Kay Ash
Success-Minded People know that life has many treasures to possess. I am not talking financial wealth here. There are things like trust, integrity, love, respect and honesty. These are not just words that one tosses out to sound good, they are tangible and hold great power to those who possess them. They also do not just happen in life. You are not born with these qualities or are granted them by some power that be. You have to earn them, work hard to achieve them and to keep them. To lose any of them is a great tragedy. As English writer John Lyly said, “He that loses his honesty has nothing else to lose.”
The sad thing is that some have a hard time defining what real honesty is. Is it blurting out what you believe to be true never minding the cost or effect? Or is it only how you see things and as honest as you feel you need to be at any given moment? I believe both extremes are wrong. Let’s take a quick look at both and be honest about what we see. Remember that honesty is a treasure that we share with others and that always enriches us the more we share it. As William Shakespeare said “No legacy is so rich as honesty.”
To start with, honesty is not a careless use of what is true. Success-Minded People know that to be kind you sometimes have to keep you opinion, no matter how true and honest, to yourself. This does not mean you have to lie or compromise on the truth. As Brad Harper said “There is no degree of honesty – be 100 percent honest all the time.” Not all things need to be said. If your “honest” opinion is going to needlessly hurt someone, then just do not say anything. The old adages “If you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all” is really a good rule to follow. Being honest does not give people the right to be hurtful and unkind. Good manners are never a case of being dishonest, only caring.
Because one may hold their tongue to be kind does not mean that honesty can be compromised to help you. Many have told “white lies” or “fudged the truth” in order to cover for their actions or get their way. There is no such thing as a half truth. It is either truth or a lie – simple as that. To leave out facts or change things around to get the result you desire is being dishonest. Author Nathaniel Hawthorne said “Accuracy is the twin brother to honesty; inaccuracy, of dishonesty.”
The difference is clear. One, you are caring for others and the other is focused on yourself. You always want to be honest, not matter the consequences. Just remember that it is never honest to deliberate hurt others when being silent are just as truthful. Honesty is a struggle and balances all Success-Minded People face, but it is not one they lose. I love what Thomas Carlyle said: “Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.”
© 2012 John Patrick Hickey
