“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why is it that one of the easiest elements of good character is the hardest some people face? If there is a crisis in this country it is a crisis of good manners. Many have forgotten the use of a simple “please and thank you” in their daily life. They expect people to serve them so they do not feel common courtesy is needed. Far too many in our society are worried about their rights and what is fair to them and they forget that good manners are required of us all. Here is the simple yet complete definition of good manners: Think of others more than you think of yourself. Irish novelist Laurence Sterne put it this way: “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.”
GOOD / BAD MANNERS
Success-Minded People know that good manners and common courtesy is the key to all success. They show good manners to all no matter how they are treated. Success-Minded People live by the old saying: “Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.” Good manner are never based on who does or does not deserve them because they come out of the person showing the manners not the one who manners are being shown to. Philosopher Gabirol said “The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.”
MANNERS CAN OPEN NEW DOORS
Success-Minded People also know that good manners will open doors for them as they deal with people. Everyone will treat someone who is courteous better than they will people who are rude and self-centered. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas noted: “Good manners will open doors the best education cannot.” History is filled with people who had little going for them in way of education and connections but got farther than those who had it all simply because they were nicer people. Despite what you may have heard, nice guys do not always finish last.
POOH & TIGGER
Yes, always minding your manners can be a lot of work. You have to remember to say please and thank you, allow others to enter before you and be willing to be last so others can be fist. It reminds me of an exchange between Winnie the Pooh and Tigger at a party for Christopher Robin when Tigger wanted to get into the cake:
Pooh: “Oh Tigger, where are your manners?”
Tigger: “I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am.”
Even if showing good manner is not fun for the moment, it is always the best in the end. You feel good about yourself and others feel good about you too.
SET THE EXAMPLE
Success-Minded People know they are an example to others at all times. If you are known for having good manners, other people will begin to practice good manners when they are around you. Don’t believe that? Try it and see. For two weeks do your best to show courtesy to everyone and have the best manners you can. Notice that people will start following your example without you even saying a word about it. Richard Whately said “Manners are one of the greatest engines of influence ever given to man.”
© 2011 John Patrick Hickey
